Today the process officially begins. Sitting on my desk right now is our Adoption Application, a family photo, a photo of our house and the application fee check. I just put these items into an envelope and shortly I will be running to the post office. Of everything we are going to need to do on this journey, today is probably going to be the easiest day (not that it has been easy getting here).
It's been just about 18 months since I took my trip to Ecuador where I felt a very strong calling from God to open my heart and home to a child needing a forever family. I had 3 children in Ecuador that I would have tucked in my pocket and brought home with me if at all possible. Just precious little chunks of God waiting & needing to be loved forever.
The real desire to grow our family has been on my mind for almost 13 years - ever since I stopped being able to have my own biological children. However, after a week in Ecuador loving on those orphan children, God's tug at my heart has been extremely strong. A child from Ecuador does not seem to be in God's plan for our family
but this trip was a God tool used to open my heart (my mind was already there) to His plan. On this trip I learned how to
completely trust God and to know to the very depth of my soul that God
is in control. He has EVERYTHING planned and His plan is far better,
bigger and more amazing than anything I could ever attempt to do on my
own.
Over the years I have brought up the idea of adoption to Brian many times but he was
not yet open to the idea of taking on another child. It's a big
responsibility, a lifetime commitment. It is not a decision to be taken lightly. He is a very good partner for me. I am impulsive and overly emotional most of the time (how do you think we added those 4 furry babies to our family). He is level headed, methodical and likes to think things through. I might come up with the ideas but he is the rock and glue that holds it all together.
From the moment we first got together, I knew his idea of the perfect family was us and 2 kids - similar to how he grew up. My idea of a family was a little bigger - like how I grew up. I grew up with lots of cousins and lots of siblings (biologicial & via marriage). Family get togethers were big events that had to be held in someone's garage or back yard. Cars were lined up all the way down the street. Everyone brought a dish and maybe a friend or two. There was always tons of food & family to be enjoyed. The aunts & uncles would talk and the kids were run & play. To me is was magical and some of the greatest memories I have in my childhood.
So what do you do when a small world collides with a big world? What do you do when you have a different "child number" than your spouse? Does one person give up a dream for the other? Do you change your expectations? God brought us 2 wonderful boys but we also took 2 babies from me. Life is never exactly how we planned or dreamed. So to hold fast to a "child number" is foolish. It's not about a number, it's about love, family, commitment and honor to our Heavenly Father. For the first 20 years of our marriage, God's plan was for it to be us and our 2 amazing boys. But now God's plan is for us to step out in faith and obey His calling to us to care for another child. He will send us to be His arms: "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."
(John 14:18, NIV)
We don't know who our child will be yet. Our plan is for a girl around 8 to 10 years old from the Philippines. That is the direction we are headed. God may have other plans and I know he'll reveal that plan to us when it is time. For now we are just walking in faith knowing that God is in control.
So, today, here we are, getting ready to take those first steps towards expanding our family - God's way.
