Today is the last Sunday of 2012. It's the last day of NFL football for 2012. And possibly 2012 will be the last year that we will be a family of four. We are still waiting for our approval from the Philippines ICAB (Inter-Country Adoption Board). It has been over 5 weeks since our last bit of required information was provided to the Philippines. Typically it is supposed to take about 3 weeks to receive back a decision but as everything has been, there seems to be delays (holidays, training and a Typhoon have gotten in the way).
However, we have received some good news that a sibling group of 3 (1 boy & 2 girls) that we have inquired upon every month since October is available and has been put on hold for our agency. We have received about 40 pages of paperwork - medicals, psychologicals, family history, education standardized test results and progress reports. A lot of information to review, a lot of stuff to learn and a lot of things to think about. After lots of review, various conversations, lots of "what if" scenarios and many "how would we" discussions we responded to our agency with affirmation that we desired to pursue adoption of this sibling group.
The next step? Well we had to write a letter to the board expressing our desire for these children and why we feel they would be a good match for our family. After asking what should be in such a letter and getting back a response of "it's not a big deal" and "just write it from your heart", I sat down to put my thoughts & feelings onto paper. The words seems to flow naturally and I hit send with more enthusiasm than I've had in weeks. Of course it was a short lived excitement because the next day, the agency sent me back a message asking for the letter to be redone (toned down were the exact words) and that I needed to address a few key "concerns". While I totally understood why those things needed to be addressed, I was disheartened because I knew this meant additional delays (since Christmas was just a couple days away). The creation of the second letter proved to be very difficult.
Some of the items that needed to be addressed?? Two of the children are very close in age to Jason. The oldest being exactly 8 months older and the middle girl being 11 months younger. So, we needed to explain how we would handle the issue of "twinning" - especially since this adoption would mean a change in birth order for Jason. I understand the issue and I know that we can handle the issue - I just had a very difficult time putting into words "how" we would handle it.
After a couple of days trying to focus and re-write the letter I finally forced myself the day after Christmas. I told myself that I was not going to move from the couch until I had something reasonably acceptable typed out. This time, we didn't even print & sign it. I just sent it back to the agency and asked for a review (why take the time to print & sign if I was just going to need to redo it again - most likely). So, Wednesday night the letter made it's way through the internet super highway to CAS. On Thursday, the agency responded and said that they have asked for these children to be put on hold specifically for us. They also said that they would review the letter and get back to us by the next morning. By Friday afternoon, no response (this is the part of this process that is really driving us - especially Brian - crazy - guess it's our "business" world training) so I sent a follow up message. Today I got an email saying that they have forward our letter to the ICAB. Now originally we were told the letter needed to be signed and this second letter is not signed. So - is this going to cause further delays??? Sometimes you just have to laugh at the situation.
On an interesting note, since we were informed that this sibling group was available, the 2 girls have both celebrated birthdays. One turned 13 on December 25th and the youngest turned 10 on December 29th. It is my greatest hope that these are the last birthdays that they spend away from their forever family (even if it's not us). Both days I quietly celebrated to myself - lest I get my hopes up too high - but I had to acknowledge - even if only to myself - their special day.
With 2013 right around the corner, I am hopefully that the new year will bring new hopes and re-newed excitement for the expansion of our family through this adoption process. At the same time, my heart is breaking for the children in Russia that may not have an opportunity for a forever family due to politics and other evil works. And my heart aches for those families who have been working so hard to bring a Russian child to their home. It is truly a terrible situation where there are no winners and for many children, this decision means a death sentence (the conditions there truly are terrible). God is in control and I know that He will protect, comfort and keep His children at all times. As you celebrate the new year, please keep these children and families on your prayer list. Please continue to pray for our process. Please pray for our friends the Barfields who will be leaving on Jan 7th for India to bring home their little girl Angel. Please pray for our friends the Habbicks who are waiting final court hearings for their little girl in India. Please pray for my friends the Gales & Listers as they continue to adjust & bond to their little girls from Ecuador. God is amazing and I feel so blessed to be a tiny part of all these miracles. Also, I am praying for all of you - my family & friends - for a wonderful and very blessed 2013.
For His Glory,
Christina
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
Waiting, waiting and wait some more
Well as you can see, it has been awhile since I have made any blog updates. That has been for a few reasons - time, work and waiting. I feel a little funny about posting every day or even every week just to say "we are still waiting". That is sort of how things go with the adoption process. You rush and do a bunch of stuff and then you sit and wait for the next step. So much of what needs to be done is out of your control. And if you like control - well - it becomes a real challenge to get from one day to the next knowing there is nothing you can do to make it go faster.
A few things have happened since the fingerprints. We did finally get our US Immigration approval (the greatly anticipated I-797 form). It's so funny how our government can work at times and the process of our own state did not help matters. Long story short - USCIS (Immigration/Homeland Security) received all of our necessary information by Oct. 9th. We did our fingerprints on Oct.24 and the Nov 2 we receive a notice that they were missing our Homestudy (which was delivered & signed for on 10/9). So I make some phone calls and USCIS works to track it down. I follow up a week later and our agent still does not have it - she agrees to track it down. She calls me back about 30 minutes later and it has been found - she is now reviewing. She then calls me less than 2 days later to say it is being approved. It takes another week before the actual I-797 form is received. This is just a minor 3 week delay as we jump through hoops, stand on our head and beg for our info to be tracked down. It's frustrating but I hold to the fact that God has a plan and the delay is working for His greater purpose.
So - this last, very critical piece gets sent to the Philippines to officially complete our Dossier. Now we just wait for their approval. This is the hardest part because this is the show stopper. It's almost like waiting for those test results from the doctor's office. Time ticks by slowly and every chime of an incoming email sends goosebumps up your spine - will this email be the one you have been waiting and wanting to receive? Will the news be good or bad? Are we taking the next step in the process or did our journey come to an end? At times I'm amazed that I still have hair on my head and nails on tips of my fingers. Again I just hold to the hope that this is all part of God's plan. That while I cannot see or understand the reason, this is how He needs this process to procedure for us. That the slow response is necessary to ensure that our child/children will be ready for us.
One really good thing that did come through this week was our Lifesong approval for fundraising. As soon as we have the Philippines approval, then we will get our Lifesong account information out to everyone. Hopefully this will be before the end of 2012 so folks can take advantage of the tax deduction for this year. We do not want to do any fundraising until we have the approval from the Philippines. We have also applied for a Matching Grant but we will not have a decision on that until sometime in January.
I appreciate all of the support and words of encouragement that we get from family & friends as we move through this process. It seems like just when I am in that deep pit of depression and the enemy is attacking my mind, someone calls or emails or comes to me in the store to give me hope & encouragement again. My little angels and my big God reminding me that He is in control and He has a plan. Please continue to be in prayer for our Philippines approval!!
For His Glory,
Christina
A few things have happened since the fingerprints. We did finally get our US Immigration approval (the greatly anticipated I-797 form). It's so funny how our government can work at times and the process of our own state did not help matters. Long story short - USCIS (Immigration/Homeland Security) received all of our necessary information by Oct. 9th. We did our fingerprints on Oct.24 and the Nov 2 we receive a notice that they were missing our Homestudy (which was delivered & signed for on 10/9). So I make some phone calls and USCIS works to track it down. I follow up a week later and our agent still does not have it - she agrees to track it down. She calls me back about 30 minutes later and it has been found - she is now reviewing. She then calls me less than 2 days later to say it is being approved. It takes another week before the actual I-797 form is received. This is just a minor 3 week delay as we jump through hoops, stand on our head and beg for our info to be tracked down. It's frustrating but I hold to the fact that God has a plan and the delay is working for His greater purpose.
So - this last, very critical piece gets sent to the Philippines to officially complete our Dossier. Now we just wait for their approval. This is the hardest part because this is the show stopper. It's almost like waiting for those test results from the doctor's office. Time ticks by slowly and every chime of an incoming email sends goosebumps up your spine - will this email be the one you have been waiting and wanting to receive? Will the news be good or bad? Are we taking the next step in the process or did our journey come to an end? At times I'm amazed that I still have hair on my head and nails on tips of my fingers. Again I just hold to the hope that this is all part of God's plan. That while I cannot see or understand the reason, this is how He needs this process to procedure for us. That the slow response is necessary to ensure that our child/children will be ready for us.
One really good thing that did come through this week was our Lifesong approval for fundraising. As soon as we have the Philippines approval, then we will get our Lifesong account information out to everyone. Hopefully this will be before the end of 2012 so folks can take advantage of the tax deduction for this year. We do not want to do any fundraising until we have the approval from the Philippines. We have also applied for a Matching Grant but we will not have a decision on that until sometime in January.
I appreciate all of the support and words of encouragement that we get from family & friends as we move through this process. It seems like just when I am in that deep pit of depression and the enemy is attacking my mind, someone calls or emails or comes to me in the store to give me hope & encouragement again. My little angels and my big God reminding me that He is in control and He has a plan. Please continue to be in prayer for our Philippines approval!!
For His Glory,
Christina
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Fingerprints Done
On Saturday we got our fingerprint appointments in the mail. This is where we have to go to a US Immigration office and be fingerprinted as part of the Immigration approval process. Don't ask me what this all really is for - I just know it is something we have to do. Anyhow, the appointment date is Nov 13th and of course that is when Brian will be out of town on business. So - this morning, Brian, Josh (because now he is an adult living in our house) and I fought early morning Charlotte traffic and went to the Application Processing Center to complete our biometrics (fingerprinting). I feel so blessed that our total wait time was only about 40 minutes. I am very glad we were able to get it done so quickly and also didn't have to wait until the 13th. The folks at the USCIS office were very nice and helpful. Hopefully all of that info gets back to Dept of Homeland Security quickly and our I-800 is approved ASAP. This is the last piece of info that we need to give to the Philippines before they will give us a decision on our adoption application. All of this work so far and we still do not truly know if we will be approved to adopt a child from the Philippines (lots of prayer is still needed in this area so that our application is approved).
On the way back from this adventure, Brian - in his "I'm so funny" humor - reminded us that we CANNOT commit any crimes now because our fingerprints are on file. Darn - that just ruined all of my plans for the weekend!! Guess I should have thought harder about that fingerprint appointment and waited just a little bit longer. Really?? I guess if I haven't committed a crime in my first 40 something years of life, I sure hope that I don't consider it anytime in my next 40. And - if I was going to commit a crime - I watch enough TV drama to know that I need to wear gloves - right?? Seriously - who does anything without wearing gloves? Well - we all got a good laugh out of it anyway because somethings you just have to laugh at - hehehe.
On another note, our friends Tim & Cindy Gale are hopefully within a few days of bring their daughter Mia home from Ecuador. Tim actually returned to the US a couple of weeks ago and Cindy & Mia had to stay in Ecuador to get a few final papers & new ID/passport done. Today they are traveling to the consulate to hopefully get all the final papers and permission to leave the country. If all goes good, then Cindy & Mia will leave Ecuador on Friday and return to Charlotte on Saturday. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for the paperwork, the flights and little Mia. This is a really big change for her and I can't even to begin to understand how scary it must be for her to leave her country to go live in a new country with a new family. Pray for God's wonderful hand of peace & comfort to be on the entire Gale family as they end one chapter and start a new one. I am so excited for them and can't wait to meet Mia (check out their story at http://gale6.blogspot.com/).
So what's next for us you might be wondering. Well, we have to get that USCIS approval and then the Philippines approval. In the meantime we continue to review and inquire on children from the Waiting Child List in hopes that one or two (or three) of them just might be the child/ren that God has planned for our family. We are also planning our next fundraiser but that event will not happen until after we get all the approvals.
This little bit of down time is being used to focus on the boys. Sometimes they can seem to get a little lost in shuffle as I do adoption planning, research, paperwork, etc. They are both doing great in school and hopefully they are both enjoying being the big boys on campus this year (Josh is a senior and Jason is 8th gr). We are also using some of this downtime to try and prepare for Josh's college next year (college app sent to USC, scholarship searching, etc). There is rarely a dull moment around here and God is moving in so many ways.
Thank you for being part of our journey. Don't forget to check out our T-shirt store (Christmas is just around the corner) and look at the updates to our Adoption Funds page. I am also working on a Timeline page so that everyone can see where we've been and what's still ahead in this process. It's exciting, scary and amazing - all wrapped into one.
For His Glory,
Chris
On the way back from this adventure, Brian - in his "I'm so funny" humor - reminded us that we CANNOT commit any crimes now because our fingerprints are on file. Darn - that just ruined all of my plans for the weekend!! Guess I should have thought harder about that fingerprint appointment and waited just a little bit longer. Really?? I guess if I haven't committed a crime in my first 40 something years of life, I sure hope that I don't consider it anytime in my next 40. And - if I was going to commit a crime - I watch enough TV drama to know that I need to wear gloves - right?? Seriously - who does anything without wearing gloves? Well - we all got a good laugh out of it anyway because somethings you just have to laugh at - hehehe.
On another note, our friends Tim & Cindy Gale are hopefully within a few days of bring their daughter Mia home from Ecuador. Tim actually returned to the US a couple of weeks ago and Cindy & Mia had to stay in Ecuador to get a few final papers & new ID/passport done. Today they are traveling to the consulate to hopefully get all the final papers and permission to leave the country. If all goes good, then Cindy & Mia will leave Ecuador on Friday and return to Charlotte on Saturday. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for the paperwork, the flights and little Mia. This is a really big change for her and I can't even to begin to understand how scary it must be for her to leave her country to go live in a new country with a new family. Pray for God's wonderful hand of peace & comfort to be on the entire Gale family as they end one chapter and start a new one. I am so excited for them and can't wait to meet Mia (check out their story at http://gale6.blogspot.com/).
So what's next for us you might be wondering. Well, we have to get that USCIS approval and then the Philippines approval. In the meantime we continue to review and inquire on children from the Waiting Child List in hopes that one or two (or three) of them just might be the child/ren that God has planned for our family. We are also planning our next fundraiser but that event will not happen until after we get all the approvals.
This little bit of down time is being used to focus on the boys. Sometimes they can seem to get a little lost in shuffle as I do adoption planning, research, paperwork, etc. They are both doing great in school and hopefully they are both enjoying being the big boys on campus this year (Josh is a senior and Jason is 8th gr). We are also using some of this downtime to try and prepare for Josh's college next year (college app sent to USC, scholarship searching, etc). There is rarely a dull moment around here and God is moving in so many ways.
Thank you for being part of our journey. Don't forget to check out our T-shirt store (Christmas is just around the corner) and look at the updates to our Adoption Funds page. I am also working on a Timeline page so that everyone can see where we've been and what's still ahead in this process. It's exciting, scary and amazing - all wrapped into one.
For His Glory,
Chris
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Printer Is Finally Getting a Rest
In the last couple of weeks I have really been putting my printer to the test with all of the various items of paperwork that we have been working on. That wonderful HP Officejet really stepped up and just printed it's little rollers off. Page after page, picture after picture. Between work and all the adoption forms - the poor little machine has really been working overtime. It's now time for a little rest.
A lot of happened suddenly in short amount of time. A few weeks ago our Dossier has been submitted to the Philippines. The Dossier is a big packet of papers that pretty much is the total history of our lives - our Home Study, our applications, our psychological reports, our family photos, etc. It was such a relief to get all of that together and sent off. About 2 weeks ago we send in our I-800 (immigration request) application. Last week I mailed in the application for a Lifesong for Orphans account (where you can make tax deductible donations) and a Show Hope grant application. Last week we also go our Tshirt fundraiser setup - see our store at:
Over the last several weeks we have been gathering up donations from lots of wonderful folks for our garage sale. That sale was held on Saturday and it was a wonderful success. On top of the great donations, my great sister-in-law Sherry and my BFF Lynne come over and helped be organize on Friday and mange the sale on Saturday. It was such a wonderful help and so appreciated. Saturday was on of the most gorgeous Fall days here in South Carolina and we met some really great folks that came to the sale. We were able to share our adoption testimony and I know we have a couple new prayer warriors. Putting the sale together was a lot of work but a great time.
Now we are moving into a "waiting" pattern - waiting for I-800 approval, waiting for Philippines approval and waiting for God to bring us our child(ren). As some of you may know - waiting is not one of our strengths. So - I'm going to turn my attention to our next fundraiser event - a Cornhole Tournament (stay tuned for more info on that fun) and then I won't have to think about the waiting.
Thank you for all of your love, prayers and support.
For His Glory - Chris
A lot of happened suddenly in short amount of time. A few weeks ago our Dossier has been submitted to the Philippines. The Dossier is a big packet of papers that pretty much is the total history of our lives - our Home Study, our applications, our psychological reports, our family photos, etc. It was such a relief to get all of that together and sent off. About 2 weeks ago we send in our I-800 (immigration request) application. Last week I mailed in the application for a Lifesong for Orphans account (where you can make tax deductible donations) and a Show Hope grant application. Last week we also go our Tshirt fundraiser setup - see our store at:
Over the last several weeks we have been gathering up donations from lots of wonderful folks for our garage sale. That sale was held on Saturday and it was a wonderful success. On top of the great donations, my great sister-in-law Sherry and my BFF Lynne come over and helped be organize on Friday and mange the sale on Saturday. It was such a wonderful help and so appreciated. Saturday was on of the most gorgeous Fall days here in South Carolina and we met some really great folks that came to the sale. We were able to share our adoption testimony and I know we have a couple new prayer warriors. Putting the sale together was a lot of work but a great time.
Now we are moving into a "waiting" pattern - waiting for I-800 approval, waiting for Philippines approval and waiting for God to bring us our child(ren). As some of you may know - waiting is not one of our strengths. So - I'm going to turn my attention to our next fundraiser event - a Cornhole Tournament (stay tuned for more info on that fun) and then I won't have to think about the waiting.
Thank you for all of your love, prayers and support.
For His Glory - Chris
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Home Study Approved
We finally got the news we have been waiting for - our Home Study is officially done and approved. I am so very grateful and thankful that step is complete. It was not a simple process and obviously not a quick process but it was a very necessary (and required) process. I really think the Home Study is used to weed out those folks that are on the fence or not serious about adoption or foster care. No one in their right mind would go through all of that if they truly did not want to bring a child into their family. But oh wow - what a feeling of great joy it is to know that 1 big hurdle is now behind us. Praise the Lord.
Next items on our agenda: #1 - File our I-800A immigration paperwork (& supplement 1 - because we would not want to leave out that new adult (aka: Josh) from all the fun) and #2 - Send our Dossier to the Philippines and #3 - Apply to Lifesong for Orphans for an adoption fund and possible grants (plus any other grants we can find). I'm going to put my nose to the paper this weekend and file in those final blanks for these 3 items. God willing, all 3 items will be sent to their respective designations by the end of the week. Once that is done, it will be time to wait some more as each organization reviews our paperwork. Decisions on all items should come back in 1-2 months.
In the meantime, we are going to be working hard on our garage sale and other upcoming fundraisers to help pay the various application and agency fees. We have about $5,000 in fees due right now and then we'll have a few months to raise the next set of funds needed. Keep an eye out for more fun things to do to help.
On a side note - our friends the Gale's (http://gale5.blogspot.com/) will be leaving this Sunday (9/16) for Ecuador to pick up their little girl Kayla Valentina. They will meet her on Monday and I know they are excited and scared all at the same time. Tim will be staying in Ecuador for 3 weeks to get thru some of the initial paperwork but Cindy will need to stay in Ecuador with Kayla until the adoption is final (should be a total of 6-8 weeks). That's a long time to be away from your kids, family & friends so any prayers you can send their way would be greatly appreciated. I have so enjoyed following their journey to Kayla - read their blog and you'll see the mighty hand of God at work. So wonderful and amazing.
Thanks everyone for the great love & support. It means so much. Don't forget to unload your unwanted/unused items on us and we'll sell them at our Garage Sale fundraising on 9/29. Drop me an email, text message or phone call for arrangements.
For His Glory,
Chris
Next items on our agenda: #1 - File our I-800A immigration paperwork (& supplement 1 - because we would not want to leave out that new adult (aka: Josh) from all the fun) and #2 - Send our Dossier to the Philippines and #3 - Apply to Lifesong for Orphans for an adoption fund and possible grants (plus any other grants we can find). I'm going to put my nose to the paper this weekend and file in those final blanks for these 3 items. God willing, all 3 items will be sent to their respective designations by the end of the week. Once that is done, it will be time to wait some more as each organization reviews our paperwork. Decisions on all items should come back in 1-2 months.
In the meantime, we are going to be working hard on our garage sale and other upcoming fundraisers to help pay the various application and agency fees. We have about $5,000 in fees due right now and then we'll have a few months to raise the next set of funds needed. Keep an eye out for more fun things to do to help.
On a side note - our friends the Gale's (http://gale5.blogspot.com/) will be leaving this Sunday (9/16) for Ecuador to pick up their little girl Kayla Valentina. They will meet her on Monday and I know they are excited and scared all at the same time. Tim will be staying in Ecuador for 3 weeks to get thru some of the initial paperwork but Cindy will need to stay in Ecuador with Kayla until the adoption is final (should be a total of 6-8 weeks). That's a long time to be away from your kids, family & friends so any prayers you can send their way would be greatly appreciated. I have so enjoyed following their journey to Kayla - read their blog and you'll see the mighty hand of God at work. So wonderful and amazing.
Thanks everyone for the great love & support. It means so much. Don't forget to unload your unwanted/unused items on us and we'll sell them at our Garage Sale fundraising on 9/29. Drop me an email, text message or phone call for arrangements.
For His Glory,
Chris
Friday, September 7, 2012
Getting From Point A to B Backwards
Just when you think you might get to take a step forward, you hit a snag and fall back. Oh what frustration it can bring along with disappointment and discouragement. We are still waiting for the Home Study to be finalized so that it can be sent to Columbia, SC for approval by the State. We have been on the verge of filing our HS since the end of July. Because of the delays, Josh turned 18 and we had to make some amendments (see previous blog post) to the study. As we waited for Josh's background checks, we did another review of the checklist to ensure everything was in order - it all looked great. Then last week the Home Study was finally sent to our NC agency for review and they asked for some minor adjustments and clarifications. Not a big deal but just another delay - which was slightly annoying and frustrating. So much of the adoption process hinges on this Home Study and each delay can weight very heavily on your spirit. It's the first really big step and everything else waits on the Home Study. We cannot proceed with anything until it is filed & approved. It feels a little like be stuck in the mud.
As we wait for the Home Study filing - which is so totally out of our control, I continue on my weight loss journey. To date - 33 lbs have disappeared. The stress of the Home Study put me into a bit of a plateau for a few weeks but I've finally handed that issue over to God (because there is nothing I can do about it anyway and I know He has it all under control) and the scale is once again moving in the right direction. At this time, I am 3 lbs from my BMI target to be within the acceptable range for the Philippines requirement. This major milestone has taken a bit longer than I wanted or anticipated but again - God has it in His control and He will make sure that it all works for His Glory!!!
With the Home Study just about done and my BMI almost within limits, our sights now turn to raising the funds that will be needed to bring home our child/ren. We have several things going on this month. We still have our Fundrazr in place if you have $10 or $20 or more that you'd like to donate safely & securely online directly to us (see the Adoption Funds tab or the link on the right side of this blog). We are also accepting items for our upcoming Garage Sale on 9/29. Items can also be dropped off for a consignment sale. You provide the item(s), I'll provide the sale and we'll split the proceeds. If you have items to donate or put up for consignment, please let me know by emailing me at wilsonhouse@comporium.net or calling 803-547-0270.
We may have hit several bumps in the road, got turned around and upside down, moved forward only to get pushed backwards - but we will not be stopped. God has a wonderful plan for our family and through this adoption process, we are going to see the love of Jesus, be the love of Jesus and proclaim God's grace and mercy. A beautiful testimony is already in the works. Each day I am amazed at what God is doing in our lives and others that we know that have gone thru or are in the midst of the adoption process. If I have to take several steps backwards now & then, I'll do it with a big ole smile on my face and Jesus in my heart.
For His Glory,
Chris
As we wait for the Home Study filing - which is so totally out of our control, I continue on my weight loss journey. To date - 33 lbs have disappeared. The stress of the Home Study put me into a bit of a plateau for a few weeks but I've finally handed that issue over to God (because there is nothing I can do about it anyway and I know He has it all under control) and the scale is once again moving in the right direction. At this time, I am 3 lbs from my BMI target to be within the acceptable range for the Philippines requirement. This major milestone has taken a bit longer than I wanted or anticipated but again - God has it in His control and He will make sure that it all works for His Glory!!!
With the Home Study just about done and my BMI almost within limits, our sights now turn to raising the funds that will be needed to bring home our child/ren. We have several things going on this month. We still have our Fundrazr in place if you have $10 or $20 or more that you'd like to donate safely & securely online directly to us (see the Adoption Funds tab or the link on the right side of this blog). We are also accepting items for our upcoming Garage Sale on 9/29. Items can also be dropped off for a consignment sale. You provide the item(s), I'll provide the sale and we'll split the proceeds. If you have items to donate or put up for consignment, please let me know by emailing me at wilsonhouse@comporium.net or calling 803-547-0270.
We may have hit several bumps in the road, got turned around and upside down, moved forward only to get pushed backwards - but we will not be stopped. God has a wonderful plan for our family and through this adoption process, we are going to see the love of Jesus, be the love of Jesus and proclaim God's grace and mercy. A beautiful testimony is already in the works. Each day I am amazed at what God is doing in our lives and others that we know that have gone thru or are in the midst of the adoption process. If I have to take several steps backwards now & then, I'll do it with a big ole smile on my face and Jesus in my heart.
For His Glory,
Chris
Monday, August 13, 2012
Distractions, Delays and Detours
During my mission trip in October 2010 to Ecuador, one of my trip mates encouraged me with some very simple words "It's just a distraction". My wonderful friend Mia would tell me over and over how it was just a distraction from the enemy to take my focus off of God and on to my trouble. Mia was so right, the enemy tried to use the security checks in New York, the carry on "attendant" in New York and fear to steal my joy and excitement (and that was all before we even hit foreign soil). Mia so softly and sternly reminded me that it was just a distraction and not a problem. I just had to look upwards to the Big God I serve, look away from the enemy's attack, breathe and go onto the next moment. Everything worked out just fine and we even laughed about it all later. God turned my little distraction in a wonderful growth experience and best of all - into wonderful memories.
As a God fearing Christian will tell you, any time that you are walking in God's will the enemy will do everything in his power to detour you from God's Plan. This is what we have been experiencing with the adoption process. Distraction #1 - Our Home Study (the 1st real big step in this whole process) has been delayed by more than 4 weeks waiting for the Psychological Report. Distractions #2 - I had an additional statement to complete regarding some of my life history. Distractions #3 - Due to distraction #1, Josh's 18th birthday has arrived so he needed to go through an additional Home Study interview because he is an adult now (by the way - he told me he wants to go back a year and just be 17 again - hehehe). Distraction #4 - Because Josh is now 18 and living in our house, we need to have background checks completed. That's a lot of distractions that are causing big delays. With the delays comes discouragement which leads to disappointment (how many more "d" words can I use??). While these hiccups in the road are not enjoyable, they cannot and should not pull us away from the blessings of God's plan. And even though it doesn't feel like it at times, the journey is just as important as the destination with many blessings of it's own. I don't think we want to skip those blessings just because we are impatient.
No one ever said this process would be easy and no one ever said that it would go exactly as planned. However, I secretly believe it would all be smooth and perfect. And why would it not? Aren't I the exception to the rule? We are special - right?? Haha - yes I just have to laugh at myself for thinking that some how, magically, this entire process would just be a piece of cake and in record time I would be flying half way around the world to get the newest member(s) to the Wilson Clan. I just crack myself up at how silly and unrealistic I can be with certain things. I serve a Mighty God and with God it would all be possible. However, I just don't think that is the plan He has for us - even though it's the plan I want. There is still so much we need to learn about this process and so much we still need to prepare for - of that I am sure. It does not make it any easier to wait but it is a comfort to know that my Heavenly Father has it all under control. Even though I am feeling distracted - God will not being detoured or delayed.
For His Glory,
Chris
Our Ecuador Mission Team!!!
No one ever said this process would be easy and no one ever said that it would go exactly as planned. However, I secretly believe it would all be smooth and perfect. And why would it not? Aren't I the exception to the rule? We are special - right?? Haha - yes I just have to laugh at myself for thinking that some how, magically, this entire process would just be a piece of cake and in record time I would be flying half way around the world to get the newest member(s) to the Wilson Clan. I just crack myself up at how silly and unrealistic I can be with certain things. I serve a Mighty God and with God it would all be possible. However, I just don't think that is the plan He has for us - even though it's the plan I want. There is still so much we need to learn about this process and so much we still need to prepare for - of that I am sure. It does not make it any easier to wait but it is a comfort to know that my Heavenly Father has it all under control. Even though I am feeling distracted - God will not being detoured or delayed.
For His Glory,
Chris
Friday, August 10, 2012
Happy Birthday
Well today we celebrate 2 big events - Brian's 40 something birthday and Josh's 18th birthday.
So hard to believe that 18 years have gone by already. Where does the time go?? It seems like just yesterday we were coming home from the hospital with our little 6lb 2oz bundle of joy and trying to figure out "what now". I remember, we brought him home in his little car seat, sat him on the floor of the living room and then we look at each other and said "Now what do we do?".
Now 18 years later, we are once again wondering "what's next". Josh is playing football for the first time since 4th grade, he is preparing for his Senior year of High School, we are filling out college applications and soon College Financial paperwork.
Also - now that Josh is 18 and our adoption Home Study is not yet filed, we will need to do some additions to our Home Study and Josh will need to have some background checks completed. We will also need to complete a special form for the US Citizenship thing and he'll have to be fingerprinted along with Brian and me. Our adoption agency said they hated to tell us about this extra paperwork that would now be needed as they know how anxious we have been to get the Home Study completed. All in God's timing!!!
Eventually it will all get done but I think that 2012-2013 is going to be a big year of firsts for our family.
Once again - a great big Happy Birthday to two very special guys in my life. As Brian says, "He got the best birthday present - that keeps on giving - wait taking".
For His Glory,
Chris
So hard to believe that 18 years have gone by already. Where does the time go?? It seems like just yesterday we were coming home from the hospital with our little 6lb 2oz bundle of joy and trying to figure out "what now". I remember, we brought him home in his little car seat, sat him on the floor of the living room and then we look at each other and said "Now what do we do?".
Now 18 years later, we are once again wondering "what's next". Josh is playing football for the first time since 4th grade, he is preparing for his Senior year of High School, we are filling out college applications and soon College Financial paperwork.
Also - now that Josh is 18 and our adoption Home Study is not yet filed, we will need to do some additions to our Home Study and Josh will need to have some background checks completed. We will also need to complete a special form for the US Citizenship thing and he'll have to be fingerprinted along with Brian and me. Our adoption agency said they hated to tell us about this extra paperwork that would now be needed as they know how anxious we have been to get the Home Study completed. All in God's timing!!!
Eventually it will all get done but I think that 2012-2013 is going to be a big year of firsts for our family.
Once again - a great big Happy Birthday to two very special guys in my life. As Brian says, "He got the best birthday present - that keeps on giving - wait taking".
For His Glory,
Chris
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Goodbye 200
It's been a lot of hard work, a huge test of my non-existent will power and I have not always been faithful but this morning I said goodbye to the 200 weight range. It took a little longer than I wanted (because patience is just not my strong suit) but that hurdle has been crossed - never to be seen again. In my journey, this makes the weight loss total 28 lbs with a BMI of 36.4. I need to get that BMI under 35 - which means I have 8 more pounds to shed before I'm under the Philippines requirement.
I may not be playing ball like I did 15 years ago but I'm playing better
than I was just a year ago. I can actually run the bases without feeling
like I'm going to pass out. I'm a very active gal and I love playing softball and volleyball and anything else so having the energy
to play my favorite sports is a huge blessing.
(Thanks Ansley for picking up my camera and snapping these shots last night.)
I still have a very long road to get to my goal weight of 125 lbs but this milestone is a huge step. I was looking back at my weight growth over the past 6 years and this is the first time that I have been under 200 in almost 5 years. I have loved the Carolinas and working from home but this relaxed environment and having the kitchen only a few steps away has not been kind.
With these new lifestyle changes (not just diet), it is exciting to finally see the scale tipping a new direction. I'm sure I will have setbacks along the way but I serve a very mighty God that can, will and has helped me to overcome these obstacles and win this battle of the bulge.
For His Glory,
Chris
I do have to say that with ever pound lost, I am feeling the affects. My knees hurt less, I have more energy and wow - you should have seen a couple of cool stretch catches I made in softball last night. 
I may not be playing ball like I did 15 years ago but I'm playing better
than I was just a year ago. I can actually run the bases without feeling
like I'm going to pass out. I'm a very active gal and I love playing softball and volleyball and anything else so having the energy
to play my favorite sports is a huge blessing. (Thanks Ansley for picking up my camera and snapping these shots last night.)
I still have a very long road to get to my goal weight of 125 lbs but this milestone is a huge step. I was looking back at my weight growth over the past 6 years and this is the first time that I have been under 200 in almost 5 years. I have loved the Carolinas and working from home but this relaxed environment and having the kitchen only a few steps away has not been kind.
With these new lifestyle changes (not just diet), it is exciting to finally see the scale tipping a new direction. I'm sure I will have setbacks along the way but I serve a very mighty God that can, will and has helped me to overcome these obstacles and win this battle of the bulge.
For His Glory,
Chris
Monday, July 30, 2012
Running In Place
A lot has been going on but at the same time, it's like running in place. So much of this early work is spent gathering up forms & documents just so that we can complete the Home Study and Dossier. So we are very busy but it doesn't feel like we are getting anywhere (like Fred Flintstone). After all this work, we will then get to wait, wait and wait some more for the government to do their part in reviewing and approving everything. Then we shuffle the papers around, get more approvals, do more shuffling and then send things off to the Philippines. So - even though we appear to be standing still, we are making progress.
A few weeks ago I dropped off a big stack of paperwork to our agency in Matthews and another smaller set for our agency in Rock Hill. This is the agency that we'll be using for the actual adoption process. Because we live in SC and the agency for the Philippines is in NC, we have to use 2 different agencies. We need a SC agency for the Home Study and then the NC agency for the adoption. It gets confusing so we call them Rock Hill Agency and Matthews Agency because their real names are very similar: Christian Adoption Services and Christian Family Services. Our nicknames help us remember if the paperwork is for the Home Study or the Dossier.
With the exception our Psych exam reports, all the Home Study paperwork is done. I've also read through a draft copy of the report and wow is it long. I have one last small stack of paperwork on my table ready to be mailed to Matthews as the final needs for the Dossier. Once the Home Study is complete - hopefully this week, it will get sent off to Columbia, SC for review & approval. Then we wait for that approval to come back - prayer that it comes by the end of August. Then we have to submit an Immigration form (I-800A) and after that is married to our Home Study and approved, then everything gets shipped to the Philippines for their approval. My prayer is that we are able to send the Dossier to the Philippines by the end of September (it seem so far away). Once the Dossier is in the Philippines, it will take another month for that to be approved and then, just then, we might be able to start work towards matching to our child (who is still unknown to us - God will reveal it when He feels we need it).
Once we get all of this paperwork out of the way, we will turn our focus to saving & raising all the funds for all the various fees (see the Adoption Funds for more info). Currently we have 2 fundraisers underway. The one is the opportunity to purchase some of my favorite pictures from my Tega Cay Photography site or also a new fundraiser called "FundRazr". As we move along this process, we'll have some other great opportunities for everyone to get involved in this amazing process.
This is one of my newest picture postings. This is a picture I took in the Bahamas with a wonderful scripture about caring for the Orphans. I hope you like it.
For His Glory!!
Chris
A few weeks ago I dropped off a big stack of paperwork to our agency in Matthews and another smaller set for our agency in Rock Hill. This is the agency that we'll be using for the actual adoption process. Because we live in SC and the agency for the Philippines is in NC, we have to use 2 different agencies. We need a SC agency for the Home Study and then the NC agency for the adoption. It gets confusing so we call them Rock Hill Agency and Matthews Agency because their real names are very similar: Christian Adoption Services and Christian Family Services. Our nicknames help us remember if the paperwork is for the Home Study or the Dossier.
With the exception our Psych exam reports, all the Home Study paperwork is done. I've also read through a draft copy of the report and wow is it long. I have one last small stack of paperwork on my table ready to be mailed to Matthews as the final needs for the Dossier. Once the Home Study is complete - hopefully this week, it will get sent off to Columbia, SC for review & approval. Then we wait for that approval to come back - prayer that it comes by the end of August. Then we have to submit an Immigration form (I-800A) and after that is married to our Home Study and approved, then everything gets shipped to the Philippines for their approval. My prayer is that we are able to send the Dossier to the Philippines by the end of September (it seem so far away). Once the Dossier is in the Philippines, it will take another month for that to be approved and then, just then, we might be able to start work towards matching to our child (who is still unknown to us - God will reveal it when He feels we need it).
Once we get all of this paperwork out of the way, we will turn our focus to saving & raising all the funds for all the various fees (see the Adoption Funds for more info). Currently we have 2 fundraisers underway. The one is the opportunity to purchase some of my favorite pictures from my Tega Cay Photography site or also a new fundraiser called "FundRazr". As we move along this process, we'll have some other great opportunities for everyone to get involved in this amazing process.
This is one of my newest picture postings. This is a picture I took in the Bahamas with a wonderful scripture about caring for the Orphans. I hope you like it.
For His Glory!!
Chris
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Putting My Talents To Work
I have been thinking and thinking of various and interesting ways that we might be able to raise funds for our adoption. I have never been good at asking people for donations or money as I prefer to work for my wages. Finding a way to raise the additional $25,000 to $30,000 that we may need for this adoption is a big challenge. I have decided that I should use one of my gifts from God to assist in this adventure.
Photography has always been a life long passion of mine for as long as I can remember (I think the talent was passed to me from my Grandpa Vise). I always loved the camera and taking pictures of anything/everything. It seems very natural to use this God given talent as a fundraiser for our adoption. I'm actually hoping this can be a permanent thing. Even after we complete and finance our adoption, I want to continue this fundraiser and use the money to help other families with their adoption or mission trips. This is something that has been rattling around in my head for a couple of years - I just wasn't sure exactly how or what I wanted to do.
I have a website called: www.tegacayphotography.smugmug.com. I have been loading some of my favorite recent pictures to this site and I'm digging into my archives for more. The pictures are all available for purchase and all proceeds will go directly into our adoption fund. Every picture is available in a variety of sizes, formats, mountings, framings and other items. I have even been adding some of my most favorite scriptures to the pictures (I can add your favorite version on request).
I have been using this site for several years now to shared the photos I have taken for various games/events. It's a great way to display my pictures and provides an easy way to people to view and/or purchase. All of the pictures are printed in an amazing professional lab and are of the highest quality. Yes - it's a little more expensive then going to Wal-Mart but the prints come out professional and gallery quality.
I hope you'll take an opportunity to browse and enjoy the photos on my site (and check back often as I am adding new photos as often as possible). And if the Lord leads you to purchase a picture, I hope you will be blessed by the photos. I'm excited about this new venture and I can't wait to see how God unfolds this plan.
For His Glory - Chris
Photography has always been a life long passion of mine for as long as I can remember (I think the talent was passed to me from my Grandpa Vise). I always loved the camera and taking pictures of anything/everything. It seems very natural to use this God given talent as a fundraiser for our adoption. I'm actually hoping this can be a permanent thing. Even after we complete and finance our adoption, I want to continue this fundraiser and use the money to help other families with their adoption or mission trips. This is something that has been rattling around in my head for a couple of years - I just wasn't sure exactly how or what I wanted to do.
I have a website called: www.tegacayphotography.smugmug.com. I have been loading some of my favorite recent pictures to this site and I'm digging into my archives for more. The pictures are all available for purchase and all proceeds will go directly into our adoption fund. Every picture is available in a variety of sizes, formats, mountings, framings and other items. I have even been adding some of my most favorite scriptures to the pictures (I can add your favorite version on request).
I have been using this site for several years now to shared the photos I have taken for various games/events. It's a great way to display my pictures and provides an easy way to people to view and/or purchase. All of the pictures are printed in an amazing professional lab and are of the highest quality. Yes - it's a little more expensive then going to Wal-Mart but the prints come out professional and gallery quality.
I hope you'll take an opportunity to browse and enjoy the photos on my site (and check back often as I am adding new photos as often as possible). And if the Lord leads you to purchase a picture, I hope you will be blessed by the photos. I'm excited about this new venture and I can't wait to see how God unfolds this plan.
For His Glory - Chris
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Tiny steps Down The Giant Sidewalk
Whew - what a crazy month it has been. Sometimes I can't tell if anything is being accomplished and other days I feel like we've made tiny leaps in the process. For those who don't know, adoption is a lot of little steps on a giant sidewalk. Every step does get you closer to your end goal but each step by itself feels very small. However, when you are able to combine a few of those steps at once - it's like a tiny leap. Just to be clear, there is no such thing as a giant leap unless you are talking about the Faith you have put in God to get you through all this stuff. The only way to approach this entire process is one tiny step at a time, one day at a time. If you try to look down the entire sidewalk at once - you will be completely overwhelmed by how far away the end actually is (you know it's far because you really can't see it).
In the last month we have make some progress. We have completed both of our home visits required for our Home Study, got most of our reference letters turned in, got our bank verification letters, dug out our birth certificates and marriage license (hadn't seen that in almost 20 yrs), and wrote small novels about ourselves, our families and the way we run our house. So far we do not seem to have scared off our wonderful case worker Hollie - that has to be a plus so let's call that a big leap. But the Home Study is not yet done. And by the way, gathering up all this info is not near as bad as the job Hollie has of putting it all together into a special report and in a very specific format (did I mention how wonderful she is??). We have also started the "other" paperwork that is needed for our Philippines Dossier. We have made progress but there is still lots to do.
And how is my weight you might be asking - as I know you just have to be on the edge of your seat. Well - again I will use the term "tiny steps". I have good days on the scale and really tough days on the scale. I have not see the progress that I want - although it is not terrible. As of this morning I was 19 pounds lighter than when I began a little over 2 months ago. That puts me just over the half way mark to having my BMI under 35 - only 18 lbs to go. My biggest frustration is that I don't seem to be able to find the right balance of calorie intake & burn that will just allow me to steadily lose 2 lbs a week. I get very frustrated (I'm not eating enough, I'm not eating enough protein, I'm not working out enough, I'm doing the wrong work out, blah, blah, blah). However - I am very happy that I have not given up - that truly must be a God thing because with the number of set backs that I have experienced, I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. But God, Brian and some close friends are keeping me strong. The good news in all of this is that I have seen a difference in the tape measure (I wonder if the Filipino government could use that instead of BMI??) and that is encouraging. Also, people around me are starting to notice too - again very encouraging. I thank God everyday for the very supportive family and friends that God has put into my life. The encouragement I receive daily is what keeps me pushing forward on the road to bring a new member(s) into our family.
For His Glory - Chris
In the last month we have make some progress. We have completed both of our home visits required for our Home Study, got most of our reference letters turned in, got our bank verification letters, dug out our birth certificates and marriage license (hadn't seen that in almost 20 yrs), and wrote small novels about ourselves, our families and the way we run our house. So far we do not seem to have scared off our wonderful case worker Hollie - that has to be a plus so let's call that a big leap. But the Home Study is not yet done. And by the way, gathering up all this info is not near as bad as the job Hollie has of putting it all together into a special report and in a very specific format (did I mention how wonderful she is??). We have also started the "other" paperwork that is needed for our Philippines Dossier. We have made progress but there is still lots to do.
And how is my weight you might be asking - as I know you just have to be on the edge of your seat. Well - again I will use the term "tiny steps". I have good days on the scale and really tough days on the scale. I have not see the progress that I want - although it is not terrible. As of this morning I was 19 pounds lighter than when I began a little over 2 months ago. That puts me just over the half way mark to having my BMI under 35 - only 18 lbs to go. My biggest frustration is that I don't seem to be able to find the right balance of calorie intake & burn that will just allow me to steadily lose 2 lbs a week. I get very frustrated (I'm not eating enough, I'm not eating enough protein, I'm not working out enough, I'm doing the wrong work out, blah, blah, blah). However - I am very happy that I have not given up - that truly must be a God thing because with the number of set backs that I have experienced, I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. But God, Brian and some close friends are keeping me strong. The good news in all of this is that I have seen a difference in the tape measure (I wonder if the Filipino government could use that instead of BMI??) and that is encouraging. Also, people around me are starting to notice too - again very encouraging. I thank God everyday for the very supportive family and friends that God has put into my life. The encouragement I receive daily is what keeps me pushing forward on the road to bring a new member(s) into our family.
For His Glory - Chris
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Going In Circles
Today as I'm watching the Indianapolis 500, I started thinking about how the race is like our adoption process. Right now we are in our first few laps of the race. No doubt there will be pit stops, cautions, fast speeds and slow speeds along the way. We hope we don't encounter any accidents, red flags or black flags. Our goal is to finish the race strong and bring home the prize. Just like the Indy drivers, we feel like the adopion process just goes in circles, repeating similar actions over and over. Then, just when you feel you are making progress, another large envelop of forms to be completed arrives. We did know that it would be this way - we were prepared - or so we thought. Just like those drivers, we've done our homework, we've prepared our hearts & minds, but that still does not prevent the feeling of being on the race track going in circles and getting no where.
What I think I'm learning is that even when we don't think that we see any progress, the miles are clicking by. The race is progessing. Before long, we'll be at 100 miles, then 200 miles and so on. While the adoption process will take longer than 3 - 4 hours, unlike an Indy race, we need to run our adoption race by taking it 1 mile, 1 day at a time. We need to let things happen in God's time, not our time. We need to remember to run this race with God as our coach and with God's plan.
So you may be wondering how our race is progressing. Here's where we are today. Our Home Study should be officially starting this week. We have submitted the first set of
required paper to our SC agency that will be doing our home study and also initial application paperwork to our agency in NC that will handle the Philippines adoption process. I spoke with our case worker and we are very excited to get started.
A week ago, Brian & I went on a 5 day cruise for our 20th anniversary - that Brian planned for us last summer. It was a wonderful time for us to reconnect and refresh. The adoption process will be long so we really needed that time away to recharge our batteries for the long haul ahead. On the trip, God provided us with a nice confirmation of our journey. Our cabin steward was a wonderful guy from the Philippines names Marvin. He was such a wonderful guy, so helpful and nice. Of all the cabins on the ship, of all the passengers and all the cabin stewards - Marvin was ours. That's just how God works - giving you little signs of His plan in the most unusual ways and places. As my good friend Nanci would say "That's just how Big My God is".
I think our next steps will be filing out more paperwork, meeting with our case worker, waiting, waiting and waiting. In the meantime, I'll also begin to work on grant applications (which cannot be filed until after the home study is done & approved), fundraising ideas and being in prayer. We are still searching for our child. The 2 girls that originally sparked our interest are not available at this time so we are waiting and watching for God to bring us our child. Really at this point in the process, knowing our child would not make much difference in what we need to do but it would just give us a face for the process. For now, we'll just have to keep our eyes on God and keep Him as our focus.
Thanks for all of your support, love, prayers and encouragement during this process. We cannot even begin to express how much it means to us. Now it is time to get back to the race and back to the paperwork.
For His Glory!!
What I think I'm learning is that even when we don't think that we see any progress, the miles are clicking by. The race is progessing. Before long, we'll be at 100 miles, then 200 miles and so on. While the adoption process will take longer than 3 - 4 hours, unlike an Indy race, we need to run our adoption race by taking it 1 mile, 1 day at a time. We need to let things happen in God's time, not our time. We need to remember to run this race with God as our coach and with God's plan.
So you may be wondering how our race is progressing. Here's where we are today. Our Home Study should be officially starting this week. We have submitted the first set of
required paper to our SC agency that will be doing our home study and also initial application paperwork to our agency in NC that will handle the Philippines adoption process. I spoke with our case worker and we are very excited to get started.
A week ago, Brian & I went on a 5 day cruise for our 20th anniversary - that Brian planned for us last summer. It was a wonderful time for us to reconnect and refresh. The adoption process will be long so we really needed that time away to recharge our batteries for the long haul ahead. On the trip, God provided us with a nice confirmation of our journey. Our cabin steward was a wonderful guy from the Philippines names Marvin. He was such a wonderful guy, so helpful and nice. Of all the cabins on the ship, of all the passengers and all the cabin stewards - Marvin was ours. That's just how God works - giving you little signs of His plan in the most unusual ways and places. As my good friend Nanci would say "That's just how Big My God is".
I think our next steps will be filing out more paperwork, meeting with our case worker, waiting, waiting and waiting. In the meantime, I'll also begin to work on grant applications (which cannot be filed until after the home study is done & approved), fundraising ideas and being in prayer. We are still searching for our child. The 2 girls that originally sparked our interest are not available at this time so we are waiting and watching for God to bring us our child. Really at this point in the process, knowing our child would not make much difference in what we need to do but it would just give us a face for the process. For now, we'll just have to keep our eyes on God and keep Him as our focus.
Thanks for all of your support, love, prayers and encouragement during this process. We cannot even begin to express how much it means to us. Now it is time to get back to the race and back to the paperwork.
For His Glory!!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Losing To Gain
So when you are dealing with a International Adoption there are a lot of crazy rules and criteria - most of which I'm not sure I fully understand. But those countries have the kids - so they get to make the rules - I guess. Most of the criteria is not a big deal but there is one health stipulation for the Philippines that is going to be a challenge. One of their requirements is that the parents must have a BMI less than 35 - each. Brian, of course - is in good shape but I'm in real trouble. Anyone that has seen me in recent years can probably guess that I am currently not meeting that requirement. As much as it pains me to say, my BMI is sitting at 40.2. That's a lot of weight for this 5 foot, 2 inch frame. So unless I can grow 5 inches, I need to reduce my weight to at least 190. Currently that would be a 30 pound lose. Not impossible but it's not going to be easy.
So 2 1/2 weeks ago when we started this adoption journey I was weighing in at 227.6. This morning I weighed in at 220.2. So progress is being made but it is really hard. I am such an emotional eater. Food is my comfort of choice - M&M's, cookies, brownies, chips, etc. If it's junk, it's high on my list of "go to" foods. I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm trying to solve work problems, I eat when I need a little break from work, I eat when I get upset, I eat when I get stressed. Basically I tend to visit the kitchen a lot as evidenced by the extra 50+ pounds I have put on in just the last 5 years.
What about exercise? Work has been in a lay off mode for the past 3-4 years so I have felt like I have needed to be at my desk 24/7. I've been working on several conversions for the past 2 years that require a lot of lunch time meetings and sometimes late hours. So, when I do get a few minutes of down time - hitting the gym in our basement is just not the top of my priority list. I'm tired, I just want to veg on the couch with my comfort food. It's a terrible cycle of my own making all wrapped up in my laziness and excuses.
What can a girl like me do? I have got to change my ways or we may miss the wonderful child that God has waiting for us. That change started on 4/17 when I started keeping a journal of my food & exercise. I also started on 4/21 on Body by Vi . It's a meal replacement shake program - similar to Slim Fast and many other programs. I'm doing 2 shakes a day (breakfast & lunch) with a small dinner. I also must get back to regular exercise - making it a priority. It's not going to be easy and I really, really, really have to fight off the urge to run to the kitchen for comfort junk. There are still going to be bad days but I have to not dwell on them and just work harder.
The reward will be so worth the pain. Not only will I reduce my weight so that I can pass the BMI requirement to be able to bring home our child but I am going to get healthy for Brian & the boys. Plus I just might like myself again and gain that confidence that I lost many years ago when the pounds started to pack on . Looks like a win, win for everyone!!! The road is going to be hard and daily I will be crying out to God for his help. This is a God size task that is only going to be accomplish with God's intervention. I know that with God on my side, there is nothing that I cannot accomplish and nothing that I cannot overcome.
I guess this means we are on 2 journey's. We have our adoption journey and a weight loss journey. Soon these two paths are going to cross and after that our lives are going to be changed forever - one way or another.
So 2 1/2 weeks ago when we started this adoption journey I was weighing in at 227.6. This morning I weighed in at 220.2. So progress is being made but it is really hard. I am such an emotional eater. Food is my comfort of choice - M&M's, cookies, brownies, chips, etc. If it's junk, it's high on my list of "go to" foods. I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm trying to solve work problems, I eat when I need a little break from work, I eat when I get upset, I eat when I get stressed. Basically I tend to visit the kitchen a lot as evidenced by the extra 50+ pounds I have put on in just the last 5 years.
What about exercise? Work has been in a lay off mode for the past 3-4 years so I have felt like I have needed to be at my desk 24/7. I've been working on several conversions for the past 2 years that require a lot of lunch time meetings and sometimes late hours. So, when I do get a few minutes of down time - hitting the gym in our basement is just not the top of my priority list. I'm tired, I just want to veg on the couch with my comfort food. It's a terrible cycle of my own making all wrapped up in my laziness and excuses.
What can a girl like me do? I have got to change my ways or we may miss the wonderful child that God has waiting for us. That change started on 4/17 when I started keeping a journal of my food & exercise. I also started on 4/21 on Body by Vi . It's a meal replacement shake program - similar to Slim Fast and many other programs. I'm doing 2 shakes a day (breakfast & lunch) with a small dinner. I also must get back to regular exercise - making it a priority. It's not going to be easy and I really, really, really have to fight off the urge to run to the kitchen for comfort junk. There are still going to be bad days but I have to not dwell on them and just work harder.
The reward will be so worth the pain. Not only will I reduce my weight so that I can pass the BMI requirement to be able to bring home our child but I am going to get healthy for Brian & the boys. Plus I just might like myself again and gain that confidence that I lost many years ago when the pounds started to pack on . Looks like a win, win for everyone!!! The road is going to be hard and daily I will be crying out to God for his help. This is a God size task that is only going to be accomplish with God's intervention. I know that with God on my side, there is nothing that I cannot accomplish and nothing that I cannot overcome.
I guess this means we are on 2 journey's. We have our adoption journey and a weight loss journey. Soon these two paths are going to cross and after that our lives are going to be changed forever - one way or another.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
20 Years And Counting
Today marks the 20th year since Brian & I said "I Do". So as we wait for this next chapter to begin - a new 20 years and a family addition in the future, I just have to reflect on where we've been and how we got to where we are today.
I can't believe how fast the time has gone. We have been through so much and I'm sure there are many out there were astonished that we made it through 5 years, so 20 years is a real surprise. We've had rocky roads, abandoned roads, smooth roads and beautiful roads. When I look back at the problems we faced - most of our own making - especially in those very early years, I am so very, very thankful that we stuck it out, held together, fought, argued, laughed & loved. It has been an amazing journey - every hardship just managed to bring us closer together.
To those young couples out there - marriage is hard - especially in the beginning. I often tell Brian that I would not want to repeat the first several years of our marriage. It is such a time of struggle as you change from a single person to a married person. From the freedom of only caring about yourself and what you want to trying to figure out the needs & wants of another person. The give & take is hard but as you go through those struggles, you grow and change. God uses those times to break you out of 2 selfish, self-centered molds and melt you into a new beautiful single mold. But like all new creations, there has to be some trimming, sanding & polishing. This takes time and it is very rare to go through this meshing without some growing pains. The key is to not give up, to not hold tight to your old beliefs but to find new beliefs together. Your goals is not to do what your parents or friends did but to find what works for your new family. Yes this means that you might have to do some things differently. You might find the bowls go on the bottom rack of the dishwasher, towels might be folded in half instead of thirds, the toilet paper might go under instead of over. Find out what is truly important (toilet paper, towels, dishes, toothpaste & socks on the floor are NOT!!!) and make a plan together on how those things will be in your household. Talk is not cheap.
I can't even begin to image what my life would have been like if we would not have stayed together. So much joy & love would have been lost. Josh may not be here today, Jason definitely would not be here today and that thought alone drives a sharp pain deep into my heart. There were so many times that we almost called it quits, gave up, walked away, stopped trying. And then there were those times when we held on so tight we couldn't breath. There were times when family or friends thought that being apart would be the best. I was too emotional, strong willed & crazy, Brian was too controlling and obsessive. For all of our differences, we were also a lot alike. We didn't want to be apart and in the beginning we struggled to figure out how to be together. In those early years (0 thru 10), it seems like we couldn't have a conversation without fighting. Our baseball friends even joked about it - especially on the days when it appeared like we were "getting along". I look at that now and actually laugh but it's also sad to think that was the outside perspective of our marriage.
The biggest change in our marriage came when we gave our lives to Christ. That was the main element missing from our marriage in the beginning. I am so thankful that God helped us to stay together, even though he was not our center. Brian & I always took our vows very seriously and it is a main reason why we were able to stay together - even when human logic told us we should split apart. Once we finally had God in our marriage and lives, the pieces really started to fit together. We started to see things from God's perspective and not ours. Today, things are still not perfect but they are wonderful & amazing - everyday. Even though I would not want to repeat any of our early years, I wouldn't trade them either. It is those early years of struggle that shaped and molded us into a couple held together by the love, forgiveness & mercy of our Heavenly Father.
So Brian, to you I say, Happy Anniversary. Thank you for choosing me, staying with me, loving me, forgiving me and being my forever partner. It has been an amazing 20 years and I hope & prayer that God gives us at least another 20 together and 20 more after that. We may not have appeared to be a likely couple but God knew better. I love you then, today and forever!!!
I can't believe how fast the time has gone. We have been through so much and I'm sure there are many out there were astonished that we made it through 5 years, so 20 years is a real surprise. We've had rocky roads, abandoned roads, smooth roads and beautiful roads. When I look back at the problems we faced - most of our own making - especially in those very early years, I am so very, very thankful that we stuck it out, held together, fought, argued, laughed & loved. It has been an amazing journey - every hardship just managed to bring us closer together.
To those young couples out there - marriage is hard - especially in the beginning. I often tell Brian that I would not want to repeat the first several years of our marriage. It is such a time of struggle as you change from a single person to a married person. From the freedom of only caring about yourself and what you want to trying to figure out the needs & wants of another person. The give & take is hard but as you go through those struggles, you grow and change. God uses those times to break you out of 2 selfish, self-centered molds and melt you into a new beautiful single mold. But like all new creations, there has to be some trimming, sanding & polishing. This takes time and it is very rare to go through this meshing without some growing pains. The key is to not give up, to not hold tight to your old beliefs but to find new beliefs together. Your goals is not to do what your parents or friends did but to find what works for your new family. Yes this means that you might have to do some things differently. You might find the bowls go on the bottom rack of the dishwasher, towels might be folded in half instead of thirds, the toilet paper might go under instead of over. Find out what is truly important (toilet paper, towels, dishes, toothpaste & socks on the floor are NOT!!!) and make a plan together on how those things will be in your household. Talk is not cheap.
I can't even begin to image what my life would have been like if we would not have stayed together. So much joy & love would have been lost. Josh may not be here today, Jason definitely would not be here today and that thought alone drives a sharp pain deep into my heart. There were so many times that we almost called it quits, gave up, walked away, stopped trying. And then there were those times when we held on so tight we couldn't breath. There were times when family or friends thought that being apart would be the best. I was too emotional, strong willed & crazy, Brian was too controlling and obsessive. For all of our differences, we were also a lot alike. We didn't want to be apart and in the beginning we struggled to figure out how to be together. In those early years (0 thru 10), it seems like we couldn't have a conversation without fighting. Our baseball friends even joked about it - especially on the days when it appeared like we were "getting along". I look at that now and actually laugh but it's also sad to think that was the outside perspective of our marriage.
The biggest change in our marriage came when we gave our lives to Christ. That was the main element missing from our marriage in the beginning. I am so thankful that God helped us to stay together, even though he was not our center. Brian & I always took our vows very seriously and it is a main reason why we were able to stay together - even when human logic told us we should split apart. Once we finally had God in our marriage and lives, the pieces really started to fit together. We started to see things from God's perspective and not ours. Today, things are still not perfect but they are wonderful & amazing - everyday. Even though I would not want to repeat any of our early years, I wouldn't trade them either. It is those early years of struggle that shaped and molded us into a couple held together by the love, forgiveness & mercy of our Heavenly Father.
So Brian, to you I say, Happy Anniversary. Thank you for choosing me, staying with me, loving me, forgiving me and being my forever partner. It has been an amazing 20 years and I hope & prayer that God gives us at least another 20 together and 20 more after that. We may not have appeared to be a likely couple but God knew better. I love you then, today and forever!!!
Monday, April 30, 2012
The First Step
Today the process officially begins. Sitting on my desk right now is our Adoption Application, a family photo, a photo of our house and the application fee check. I just put these items into an envelope and shortly I will be running to the post office. Of everything we are going to need to do on this journey, today is probably going to be the easiest day (not that it has been easy getting here).
It's been just about 18 months since I took my trip to Ecuador where I felt a very strong calling from God to open my heart and home to a child needing a forever family. I had 3 children in Ecuador that I would have tucked in my pocket and brought home with me if at all possible. Just precious little chunks of God waiting & needing to be loved forever.
The real desire to grow our family has been on my mind for almost 13 years - ever since I stopped being able to have my own biological children. However, after a week in Ecuador loving on those orphan children, God's tug at my heart has been extremely strong. A child from Ecuador does not seem to be in God's plan for our family but this trip was a God tool used to open my heart (my mind was already there) to His plan. On this trip I learned how to completely trust God and to know to the very depth of my soul that God is in control. He has EVERYTHING planned and His plan is far better, bigger and more amazing than anything I could ever attempt to do on my own.
Over the years I have brought up the idea of adoption to Brian many times but he was not yet open to the idea of taking on another child. It's a big responsibility, a lifetime commitment. It is not a decision to be taken lightly. He is a very good partner for me. I am impulsive and overly emotional most of the time (how do you think we added those 4 furry babies to our family). He is level headed, methodical and likes to think things through. I might come up with the ideas but he is the rock and glue that holds it all together.
From the moment we first got together, I knew his idea of the perfect family was us and 2 kids - similar to how he grew up. My idea of a family was a little bigger - like how I grew up. I grew up with lots of cousins and lots of siblings (biologicial & via marriage). Family get togethers were big events that had to be held in someone's garage or back yard. Cars were lined up all the way down the street. Everyone brought a dish and maybe a friend or two. There was always tons of food & family to be enjoyed. The aunts & uncles would talk and the kids were run & play. To me is was magical and some of the greatest memories I have in my childhood.
So what do you do when a small world collides with a big world? What do you do when you have a different "child number" than your spouse? Does one person give up a dream for the other? Do you change your expectations? God brought us 2 wonderful boys but we also took 2 babies from me. Life is never exactly how we planned or dreamed. So to hold fast to a "child number" is foolish. It's not about a number, it's about love, family, commitment and honor to our Heavenly Father. For the first 20 years of our marriage, God's plan was for it to be us and our 2 amazing boys. But now God's plan is for us to step out in faith and obey His calling to us to care for another child. He will send us to be His arms: "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:18, NIV)
We don't know who our child will be yet. Our plan is for a girl around 8 to 10 years old from the Philippines. That is the direction we are headed. God may have other plans and I know he'll reveal that plan to us when it is time. For now we are just walking in faith knowing that God is in control.
So, today, here we are, getting ready to take those first steps towards expanding our family - God's way.
It's been just about 18 months since I took my trip to Ecuador where I felt a very strong calling from God to open my heart and home to a child needing a forever family. I had 3 children in Ecuador that I would have tucked in my pocket and brought home with me if at all possible. Just precious little chunks of God waiting & needing to be loved forever.
The real desire to grow our family has been on my mind for almost 13 years - ever since I stopped being able to have my own biological children. However, after a week in Ecuador loving on those orphan children, God's tug at my heart has been extremely strong. A child from Ecuador does not seem to be in God's plan for our family but this trip was a God tool used to open my heart (my mind was already there) to His plan. On this trip I learned how to completely trust God and to know to the very depth of my soul that God is in control. He has EVERYTHING planned and His plan is far better, bigger and more amazing than anything I could ever attempt to do on my own.
Over the years I have brought up the idea of adoption to Brian many times but he was not yet open to the idea of taking on another child. It's a big responsibility, a lifetime commitment. It is not a decision to be taken lightly. He is a very good partner for me. I am impulsive and overly emotional most of the time (how do you think we added those 4 furry babies to our family). He is level headed, methodical and likes to think things through. I might come up with the ideas but he is the rock and glue that holds it all together.
From the moment we first got together, I knew his idea of the perfect family was us and 2 kids - similar to how he grew up. My idea of a family was a little bigger - like how I grew up. I grew up with lots of cousins and lots of siblings (biologicial & via marriage). Family get togethers were big events that had to be held in someone's garage or back yard. Cars were lined up all the way down the street. Everyone brought a dish and maybe a friend or two. There was always tons of food & family to be enjoyed. The aunts & uncles would talk and the kids were run & play. To me is was magical and some of the greatest memories I have in my childhood.
So what do you do when a small world collides with a big world? What do you do when you have a different "child number" than your spouse? Does one person give up a dream for the other? Do you change your expectations? God brought us 2 wonderful boys but we also took 2 babies from me. Life is never exactly how we planned or dreamed. So to hold fast to a "child number" is foolish. It's not about a number, it's about love, family, commitment and honor to our Heavenly Father. For the first 20 years of our marriage, God's plan was for it to be us and our 2 amazing boys. But now God's plan is for us to step out in faith and obey His calling to us to care for another child. He will send us to be His arms: "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:18, NIV)
We don't know who our child will be yet. Our plan is for a girl around 8 to 10 years old from the Philippines. That is the direction we are headed. God may have other plans and I know he'll reveal that plan to us when it is time. For now we are just walking in faith knowing that God is in control.
So, today, here we are, getting ready to take those first steps towards expanding our family - God's way.
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