Whew - what a crazy month it has been. Sometimes I can't tell if anything is being accomplished and other days I feel like we've made tiny leaps in the process. For those who don't know, adoption is a lot of little steps on a giant sidewalk. Every step does get you closer to your end goal but each step by itself feels very small. However, when you are able to combine a few of those steps at once - it's like a tiny leap. Just to be clear, there is no such thing as a giant leap unless you are talking about the Faith you have put in God to get you through all this stuff. The only way to approach this entire process is one tiny step at a time, one day at a time. If you try to look down the entire sidewalk at once - you will be completely overwhelmed by how far away the end actually is (you know it's far because you really can't see it).
In the last month we have make some progress. We have completed both of our home visits required for our Home Study, got most of our reference letters turned in, got our bank verification letters, dug out our birth certificates and marriage license (hadn't seen that in almost 20 yrs), and wrote small novels about ourselves, our families and the way we run our house. So far we do not seem to have scared off our wonderful case worker Hollie - that has to be a plus so let's call that a big leap. But the Home Study is not yet done. And by the way, gathering up all this info is not near as bad as the job Hollie has of putting it all together into a special report and in a very specific format (did I mention how wonderful she is??). We have also started the "other" paperwork that is needed for our Philippines Dossier. We have made progress but there is still lots to do.
And how is my weight you might be asking - as I know you just have to be on the edge of your seat. Well - again I will use the term "tiny steps". I have good days on the scale and really tough days on the scale. I have not see the progress that I want - although it is not terrible. As of this morning I was 19 pounds lighter than when I began a little over 2 months ago. That puts me just over the half way mark to having my BMI under 35 - only 18 lbs to go. My biggest frustration is that I don't seem to be able to find the right balance of calorie intake & burn that will just allow me to steadily lose 2 lbs a week. I get very frustrated (I'm not eating enough, I'm not eating enough protein, I'm not working out enough, I'm doing the wrong work out, blah, blah, blah). However - I am very happy that I have not given up - that truly must be a God thing because with the number of set backs that I have experienced, I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. But God, Brian and some close friends are keeping me strong. The good news in all of this is that I have seen a difference in the tape measure (I wonder if the Filipino government could use that instead of BMI??) and that is encouraging. Also, people around me are starting to notice too - again very encouraging. I thank God everyday for the very supportive family and friends that God has put into my life. The encouragement I receive daily is what keeps me pushing forward on the road to bring a new member(s) into our family.
For His Glory - Chris
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